Posted in: Life

The Hair Chronicles

Featured Image: Frizzy Hair, by Adrian Valencia

Haircut History
As you might remember, in 2013 I got my hair cut short after more than two decades of super-long, super-fluffy 80s glory. I kept up with it and had it cut again last March in the midst of my uterine escapades because surgery was coming up and I didn’t want to fuss with my hair during recovery. I’ve tried to get it cut again since, but the salon ladies kept blowing me off and being rude on the phone, so I let it grow out rather than hunt around for a new salon.

The Requirement
Last week I finally decided to just go somewhere else and get it done because I had a job interview coming up and wanted to look spiffy. In a fit of optimism and slight desperation, I chose a beauty school. They had openings, they were reasonably priced, and they were nice on the phone. Triple win. The student helping me was friendly and it was overall a nice experience. However, the resulting ‘do is not quite what I had hoped for.

The Straightening
I asked about frizz control (because naturally curly), so the student offered to put some glop in my hair and blow-dry it straight to see if I liked it. I agreed, so she glopped me. I did not care for the results, but it was sweet of her to help me experiment.


The Curling
Yesterday I went back to my normal hair glop and bounced around being pleasantly curly. In spite of the ever-present Oklahoma wind and an extra dose of humidity, the ‘do looked pretty cute. It is not the cut I had previously, but I was okay with it.

The Doc Brown-ing
Then I woke up this morning.

It's like we're twins!
It’s like we’re twins!

The Foofening
And today, even after sticking my head in the sink, my hair is doing this.


I feel like the lovechild of Dorothy Hamill and a frizzy mushroom cloud. My hair won’t even fit under a hat right now.

To be fair, the recent humidity is probably a big factor. To be unfair, I’m not digging this look at all and want to go back for a buzz. Preferably something like this…

Melissa McBride rocking "The Carol."
Melissa McBride rocking “The Carol.”

If that won’t work, there’s always the V’Ger look.

Hairstyle by Lieutenant Ilia. Fashions by Vygr.
Hairstyle by Lieutenant Ilia. Fashions by V’Ger.


Frizz. I am over it.

PS: It’s now been a couple of days and I realize the cut is cute when my hair is behaving. I don’t think humanity has invented the technology to make said hair behave in high humidity, though. Not yet.

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