Have you ever had one of those just-so-terrible-I-can’t-take-it days? The kind of day where nothing goes right, everything just feels OFF somehow, and even though you try your damnedest, you find that You Just Can’t Even? Our cats have those every Tuesday, because on Tuesday, Mom goes to the actual office and they’re stuck at home with ME, and I don’t do anything right by their exacting standards.
Today, I not only had the astonishing gall to take her to work AND return without her, once I got home, I spent the morning outside watering and working. The air was thick with feline outrage when I came back inside. I made it even worse by deciding to go take a shower. I was foul beyond words, sue me. Not only did I deport Mom, I then messed with water, then came inside and messed with MORE water.
Then I started making lunch. Which meant I was in the kitchen. Which meant there SHOULD be cheese for everyone.
Except there wasn’t.
“They look like they’re about to take matters into their own hands,” I thought with a nervous laugh to myself. “Good thing the little shits don’t have thumbs.”
I didn’t realize that cats don’t need thumbs. Not even a little bit.