Fun with Aging

http://jayce-o.blogspot.com/2013/01/birthday-card-designs-35-funny-cute.html

Featured Image: Funny Birthday Card via thunderpeep

While chasing the elusive balance between cheap and good, I’ve split our supply shopping between two stores: grocery and The Great Blue Satan (GBS), aka Walmart. I hit the grocery every week and the GBS every two, depending on when we’re going to run out of things. This week was a two-fer, and experiences at both stores reminded me of a fact I’ve been happily ignoring for a few years now: I’m getting older.

Eyesight Failcolor drop lol

A display for reading glasses caught my eye as I was standing in the pharmacy line at the GBS. The frames came in a variety of bright colors and the signage font was designed to resemble old neon signs. So 80s. I got a kick out of this until I realized they are shooting for my age group, and other people in my age group probably do need reading glasses. Boo-urns. Then I tried to read the sign and found I need them too. Here’s a transcript of the resulting internal dialogue.

Squint.
“Color Plop…”
“Wait, Color Plop? Ewwww. That sounds less than attractive.”

Squint harder.
“Oh, Color Drop! That’s a bit better.”

The neon stick-font didn’t do them any favors, but it did remind me of the 8th grade, which, come to think of it, didn’t do me any favors. The 8th grade, like obnoxious neon signs, sucked.

That Lady

A couple of days later I went to the grocery store and had the following conversation with the morning checker, who is always a sweetheart.

Checker: “Do you walk a lot?”
Me: “Yep! All the time.”
Checker: “I thought that was you! I live over on your street.”
Me: “Oh cool! Yeah, my husband works nearby, so we walk every day.”
Checker: “I was like, there’s that lady who comes into the store all the time!”

That lady.

That Lady.

THAT LADY.

Snort.

When did I get old enough for someone to refer to me as That Lady? My brain thinks I’m still 15, so this Lady thing gives me serious cognitive dissonance.

So do “ma’am,” short-term memory fails, and seeing my little turkey wattle in the mirror every morning. These things feel like they should be distressing, but I find them funny. We have to. Getting older is a trippy cranial experience as it is, and I think a sense of humor helps. We don’t get a choice in the matter, so why not enjoy the ride? Aging can be wildly entertaining… if you let it.

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Why

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