Thanksgiving has come and gone, and we all know what that means: The Tree is coming out. When The Tree appears, Nutter is here for it.
Oddly, a few days before Thanksgiving, I had a weirdly anxious moment when I dreamed that I couldn’t find the tree and was convinced that it was still on the ceiling storage rack in my workshop at our old house in Duncan. Since it was 4AM, I waited until we got up to go check. Sure enough, the tree was in the garage, right up where I’d forgotten I put it in the haste of moving and unpacking. No way we’d have left this monster behind.
Anyway, the day after Thanksgiving, we got up bright and early and began prepping the house for the month long Festival of Bullshit (aka “endless cheat days.”) The Tree is a bit large, so it required rearranging our cozy living room a little to make sure there was room for everything without being too crowded.
I didn’t even have the box through the door before Nutter was fangwiping it. We got the base piece about half out of the box before he managed to start chewing it. As soon as I set it up, he was hard at it, deepthroat-flossing it like a dentist’s pornographic dream.
I pulled the phone out and in the time it took me to click the camera app, he was done and back to normal.
No artificial-pine whores here, boss. Nope. Never mind you can SEE the sheen on the freshly suckled branches. Human didn’t photo it, so it never happened, I guess. Hmm.