Behold denizens, it is an auspicious day! A most black day, steeped in evil and torment! Listen and weep at the gnashing of teeth and the chittering of demons on this day above all others; for today marks the six hundred sixty sixth Critter Pic of the Day!
Today, we pay homage and render unto Him that which is due to beseech His blessing upon our shaggy mortal flesh. We pray that when He sings the ending of this world, our fate shall be kinder for having pleased Him with chicken, and Cheetos, and milk, and cheese, and hamburger, and drugs, and Doritos, and ice cream, and cellophane, and noodles, and milk tops, and phone chargers, and all the other innumerable things which belong in His great maw and greasiest gullet. So say we all.
As a young Princelet of Twilight, Stanley was even more of a wiggy little shit than He is now. This video was taken a couple of days after we got Him, which itself was shortly after His spiritual father, Tai, sang his own song and ascended on the wailing of the mortals beneath him. That ladybug toy He is playing with was Tai’s, and it had been missing for years. Stanley, ever drawn to evil and power, found it immediately and adopted it, adopting the unspeakable horror contained within it to bank and nurture for Himself. That dark seed of corruption spread deep, toothy roots (into us) and once it was sufficiently planted, bloomed into the 20+ pound Chungus of Horror that is now…
Stanley, The Lord of Darkness and High Priest of Girth:
Yep. He’s sleeping it off under the Christmas tree with His favorite pink fish under His sacrificial penguin.
He’s a fat little devil, but he’s MY fat little devil, and I worship Him utterly, as He deserves. He’ll tell you, if you ask Him. Or if you eat nearby.