Have you ever had a fuzzy, vaguely unsettling sensation just inside your skull, the feeling that your brain is actually itching? I’ve been getting it a lot lately. It happens every time a clueless, happy little recent high-school graduate walks by. They remind me so much of me at 18 that it causes me pain in the brain pan. The pain is mostly envy. I remember what it was like to have everything open before me, so many tantalizing possibilities, so many dreams. Granted, most of my dreams were daffy (hello, Rob Halford is not going to marry a chick), but at the time all things were possible. I’m sure I exuded the same disgusting sense of “Woo!” then that these kids do now, and I’d like to thank all of the adults who refrained from slapping me. I finally understand what a difficult urge that is to keep in check.
At any rate, this is not a growing-older whine, or a where-did-the-time-go diatribe, or a why-am-I-not -rich-yet inquisition. It’s about that itchy brain sensation. Laying in bed a little while ago, I realized what that sensation really is. When I think about it, the image that comes to mind is myself, sitting here now, and another layer of me, the young, creative one, hovering around the edges. It’s like an animated crayon aura, ready to peel off at any time and live again. But what does it mean?
It has to do with the time of year. Summer has always held a deep connection for me. It was when I spent the most time thinking as a kid: playing, drawing, writing, listening to music, and just dreaming. The creative, nostalgic, greater part of my soul is very much tied to summer. As I drive home from work through honeysuckle scented air singing along with 80s songs on the radio, the crayon aura agitates, reminding me of what I am, and what I need to do. Finally, I hear it. The book is beginning. ~H
Exploring through the blogs hosted on this ginormous site, that is, and the main thing I noticed is this: people write a lot. They write about their families, jobs, road trips, movies they watched, stuff they did over the weekend…just a lot. It made me feel lazy and voyeuristic to go poking through so many lives in one evening rather than writing something myself, so here I am. I could be full of it and say that my search for a topic to blather about was successful, but nah. The whole thing just struck me as interesting enough to note. Honestly, my life isn’t really less exciting than that of anyone else who happens to blog, so why do they write more?
I’m going to go with habit and gaming. For them, blogging is a habit, a way they keep people in the loop of their lives. For me, gaming is a habit, a way to spend time with my husband and the friends we’ve made in our current game. They’re not really that different, now that I think about it. The end results just aren’t as visible with the latter. Still, I really do need to write here more. My brain atrophies when I fall behind on my quota of word-nerding. ~H
The business of verbal meandering, that is. This haven was created to combat my laziness when it comes to writing and inspire me to eventually do something meaningful with my brain, all while avoiding the ads and general sense of “ick” that hang over my previous blog site. Making positive changes is my theme for the year.
Though this first post is a bit short (and many may be), I wanted to start things off with good news. I am once again gainfully employed! The pay is, in technical terms, diddly squat, but it’s a new aspect of the newspaper business, and I think I’ll do very well in the position. I get to work with my friend, learn new stuff, and add yet another title to my resume. I really feel that I can do good things for these folks, so my overall reaction is anticipation and enthusiasm. We’ll see how it goes!
Back to the site, please be patient regarding the layout and such. I’m a compulsive tinkerer, so it will probably undergo a lot of morphing before I’m satisfied with it. Feel free to comment or suggest if something is difficult to see or navigate. More meandering tomorrow. ~H